This is a series of BCs on BBM of me venting .. I thought I would share them here so that I can come back to them when I feel nostalgic!!

Enjoy ..

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Ok, since I can’t vent enough, I decided to spam your timelines and vent hnee.
Kaifi. And stop me if you can. I am very suicidal @ the moment, and probably will be for the rest of 37 days left for us in PI. Yes, this will continue till the 2nd of june.

Yesterday, 2 of my sensors were working, which was awful! coz that’s like half of our freaking sensors.

Today, NONE OF THE SENSORS ARE WORKING!!!

You think, what could go worst???!

In PI, I learnt that things can ALWAY GO WAY WORST.

So as Other Nada said, btw she also said I’m ON *dances*, “think happy thoughts”. I will think happy thoughts and pray tomorrow, all the sensors will work. And that what was wrong is a very stupid mistake. Although that would mean that I wasted my entire day BAS EL-MOHEM YESHTA’3LOON T_T

AND M. EL-SA5EEF MA SAFAR ELLA HAL ESBOO3?!?! T_T
WHY WHY WHY???

You know what’s keeping me sane? Oh wait, I don’t think I’m sane! Ok, you know what;s keeping me from having a major meltdown?? THE COUNTDOWN!! The count down for graduation. NOT THE COUNTDOWN FOR THE SENIOR DESIGN’S DEADLINE R!! 7aram 3alaich walla *sobs*

I’m not done bas I feel bad for you guys, so I’ll stop.

Sorry I take all day to reply to your bbms *hugs* bas I’m spending my whole day fel workshop and totally ignoring my phones. Love you!

xoxo

There’s no reason or purpose .. i should say theme for this post! I just felt like writing something down, let something out .. get it off my chest! So this may be too scattered this time and make no sense at all. If I were you, I’d stop reading now.

Well, I warned ya =P

You know how you always think you know yourself. I mean who would know you better than your own self, right? Then, one day reality slaps you in the face!! And from that moment onwards, your life changes, forever.  You stop viewing things the way you used to. Places, people, colors, smiles, and laughs, all look different to you. Whether it is a bad thing or a good thing, you cannot tell, for you know this is just the beginning. A beginning of a path so intriguing and mysterious that you feel a rush whenever you have a deja vu. Everything arounds you seems like a deja vu; the greetings you get every morning, the taste and smell of your morning coffee (or tea for some of us!), the parking lots, the doors, the hallways, the desks, the papers, the screans, the whiteboards, the meals; your entire life.  It is all being played in front of you, but you can’t totally relate. You see yourself standing there, reacting, interfering, but it feels like someone else. Someone sent to memic you; your looks, your voice, your words, but not you! The soul is missing. Your soul is right here, trapped in a shadded place, where no one can realize your existance. A place where your existence does not really matter. Living and wandering freely, in and out of focus; like a ghost. A ghost with infinite time to spare; eternity.

But is that what you are? A soul without body, a ghost?

No! Comes a simple answer that pulls you out of your nap, welcomes you back to class, “is it lunch time yet?!”

Cheers! =)

Is it just me, or do you see it too?! =(

So summer time is here alreadY!! and I don’t mean the fun yet .. just the heat!

Everyone is busy with finals coming soon!! Thing is, everyone is complaining and I think to myself, “be grateful you guys!” Finals will be over and you can hibernate for the rest of the summer. But us, no! We have our summer internship and guess what, we only have a weekend break between the finals and the internship. Yes, a weekend!

On wednesday we were talking to Qi Su (pronounced Su Chee in Chinese by the way!). So we were telling him that we have another final on the same day with his final. He laughs his quirky laugh, which i ADORE, and says, “you know, you university students are slaves! *laughs some more* .. but don’t worry, it’ll be over soon. You will graduate in a year.” Now if I didn’t like him too much, I would have fela3ta -.-”

So just wanted to wish you all the best in your finals. Those of you who can actually enjoy your summer, I ENVY YOU! I mean, good for you =p

And, the rest of us who have to live through the agony of another summer spent either in class, boring office, or an exhausting field (by the way, I have to post something about this later), be patient! It’s all worth it. One day you will look back and say, wow! I made it through!

By the way, I love you for reading my lines ^^

Picture is dedicated to Abdulla =)

I hesitated before uploading it because I did not take the guys’ permission (whomever they are), but then I thought, they shouldn’t mind since they kept posing in every picture I took till it got annoying.

Pictures of the beach and water are my favorite <3

Summer is here! Embrace the heat =P

I have been wanting this to post these pics since we got back, which is like a month ago -.-”

I know, I’m sorry! I did not wanna delay this any further because I keep getting ideas for new posts but I can’t post’em coz I have to post this one first !!! o.O

Believe it or not, when I was there, all I could think of was coming back home!!

Now that I look back on it, DC was nice, I miss it. But this was once in a lifetime experience that I would only repeat if I had my family with me!

Yes, I was such a cry-baby over there! Ask amoon >.<

But, yeah! I miss DC. OW, AND I MISS GEORGE TOWN <3 <3 <3

PS: Only the first picture is not taken by me, the rest are mine =)

My heart moved through deep and silent water. No-one, and nothing, could really hurt me. No-one, and nothing, could make me very happy. I was tough, which is probably the saddest thing you can say about a man.

 

- Shantaram, Gregory David Roberts.

***

I don’t like life the way it is. I want to change it!

Is this your quest in life?

Are you looking for a better place, a happy place?

Are you satisfied with who you are, what you have, and where you’re at?

Do you look around and wish for better casts and scenarios?

Do you wish to be the director in all of life’s plays?

***

I’m impossibly cramped with work, my to-do list for the night is insane! Yet, all I can think about is writing a post! You ask why? Well, I’m not sure! It probably has to do with all the stress and my emotional reaction to it. I hate being emotional and I hate this girlie part of me! Yes, I am saying that I hate the girl in me right now. It’ll fade away (this feeling) I hope, soon please? *raises here eyes to the sky*

***

Tonight, I wanna sleep with no roof on top of my room!

I want the sky to hold me tight and sing to me, “hush baby, hush, tomorrow will be a better day!”

***

This is very random, and personal. You reading this means you reached that most fragile inner part of me, that I try to keep well hidden. If you’re trying to read between the lines and make out a picture of this, don’t! I’ve let you in, because tonight, I have no other consolation than to lay my heart out flat on this bench, in this roofless room. So, please, out of respect, if you have any for me, leave as you came in. Carry no pieces of my scattered thoughts, and recall no memories of my random beats. I will eternally love you!

***

PS: the picture is just a random shot I took on November 25th, 2009 in AD – Arabian Gulf Street’s Corniche. Just uploading it because my blog is so .. picture-less =S And nothing else in my album suits my mood! Ow, and the frame and signature are edited using an online app. Horrible? I know! Sorry -.-

PSS: I love you Other Nada =)

PSSS: Just read this, and boy!!!! I am ashamed!!!!! But, what the heck!! You guys will understand, right? Or, not? I hope not!! Because if you did, then that will mean your head is as twisted as mine! Oh god, I should stop typing >.<

Dear me,

This is in fact confusing! What would I want to say to the 12-year-old me? I would actually rather write a letter to the 5 year old me and beg her not to let her mother pull her hair up so tight. I would not have suffered with such a big forehead now!

No, seriously! I want to say that throughout the years you will come to change a lot. You will think differently, look differently, and thus, be a totally different person. The 12-year-old Nada is not the almost 21-year-old Nada. You are at a stage where you’re no longer a kid but neither a teenager. You’re somewhere in between. Playgrounds, roller skates, beaches and cartoons don’t look the same to you. Your childhood has not been a great one, so you are eager to leave it. Yet reluctant to abandon the parts you love of it. Soon enough you will realize though, that those loved parts, are the ones you have to leave behind and the awful bits are the ones you’re allowed to carry with you. Sounds unfair? Well, guess what dear, life is just that, unfair! This might be a cliché, but life is indeed a game, a rather harsh one.  You probably don’t even know what “cliché” means! Look it up, for you will grow to like it. It’s ironically funny how you will be able to call almost everyone and everything around you a “cliché”! The older you get, the better you understand life and its tricks. You have to learn how to watch your back, how to hold on tight to the ropes of hope and never let go, for when you loose grip, is when life strikes you the hardest, trying to knock you off your feet, and throw you down the hill.

I am not writing this letter to give you hints and advice about how to avoid life’s blows and stabs. May sound mean to you now, but sometime during the years between your 12^th and 20^th birthdays, you will come to an understanding that every experience you go through, every mistake or felony you commit, every ill judgment you have made, and every injustice that has been opposed upon you will eventually make you who you are. No matter how hard the blow is, know that you will walk yourself through it and that you have unimaginable strength; a strength that, even now, I cannot rap my head around! Your strength is the only thing that will always be there for you, for better or for worst. You will have your moments – but don’t you mistake them for moments of weakness. They are merely pauses you need to take in such a twisted world, where everyone seems to be running in different directions, thinking they know where they’re going, when they actually don’t.

I cannot honestly tell you which one is worse, your childhood or your teenage years, not very comforting? Oh I know, but as bad as it may sound, your teenage years might have more comfort folded between its blankets and pages than your early youth ever will. Though life will look wider, possibilities will be more, and your excitement will grow, you will find yourself running, just like everyone else. Do you have a destination though? Are you different from everyone else? Maybe, maybe not! You can’t expect me to actually tell you now! What would be the fun in that!

It bothers me though how you will burden your shoulders with so many doubts and visions of yourself! So I have to tell you this, though you will not weigh in kilograms as much as you prefer, but you will grow to be taller than you think, wider than you believe, and much deeper than you can imagine, all in your head and personality of course. So do not worry about it too much, for there will come a day, where all those whispers will vanish into a very tiny box, hiding in the back of your head, and only recalled when you wish them to be.

I think I can manage to fill in some more blanks, but I would rather not, for you can only be me if you went through life, the way I went through it. If I was given a second chance in life and was put in your shoes, I don’t think I would have changed a thing – probably because I’m too stubborn to do otherwise.

This is it. Enjoy living my life!

Yours,

Nada

PS: thank you Reem for pushing me to do this! ^^

So I just got back from pi. Had lunch and here I am. First day was, I don’t know, weird in a way! Although I was struggling to look awake, coz actually being awake was a hopeless case, I managed to notice that no one was exactly the same! Everyone changed a bit! I was too sleepy of course to try to figure out the what’s and how’s behind it.

I’ve been meaning to write a post about this for a while now, how much I hate the fact that my body controls me!! I am too stubborn when it comes to this and most of the time end up hurting myself. I ignore my hunger when it needs every bit of food I can manage to shove down my throat, I resist sleep when I need it the most, I loathe painkillers when I’m in pain, and I keep pushing myself to the edge thinking, “maybe this is it, this is when I’ll fall!” I guess it’s very normal for human beings to explore their territories and limits. The worst thing about this though that I found nothing wrong about it! I kinda enjoyed it, beating my body once again. After each time I would say to my body, “huh! you can’t beat me!!” with a smirk!! But who enjoys torturing themselves? That’s not normal! Am I crazy??

After many deliberations, I came to the decision. No, I’m not  crazy! As I mentioned before, just too stubborn! I mean, you would expect your own body to act as you want it to and whenever you want it to. It’s as if we have two brains, not one. The first which is a programmed dummy that “actually” controls your body and the second is the brain your thoughts control! But, I can imagine how horrible things could be if my thoughts and decisions controlled my body. For I know what a terrible job I would do if it was up to me alone! I guess all I can say is el-7emdella!! It might annoy me but I’m certainly grateful.

My great grandma is in the hospital! Such a weird feeling when you see someone you care for laying unconscious and all you can think of is, this might be the last time I’m gonna see them. It’s even weirder when you hold back your emotions coz you’re worried about you’re mother, grandmother, aunts, and uncles. When did I grow so old and responsible enough to keep my composure from disturbing theirs?!!

I hope that wasn’t goodbye though. I hope she gets to see us again, we, the people she loves, and love her back!

Nada

Because my day, actually the whole week, has gone almost completely to waste, I decided to post something useful here!

Ever since my break started I have been googling, reading reviews, and watching videos non-stop. So much fun, I tell ya =p

Anyways, so the idea crossed my mind when I went to bed tonight. In case you’re wondering, I went to bed around 9:30, maybe 10, not sure! Anyways, I woke up at 12:30, I think =S, and couldn’t go back to sleep. El-mohem, I thought of doing something useful with all the googling and time I spent. So the idea came up of writing a post with nice gifts (obviously for girls, maybe a thing or two can be for guys too!). I, certainly, get confused a lot of times and donno what gifts to get. So I start googling “gift ideas” and most of the time I do not end up with satisfying results. I know a lot of girls don’t need advice on this matter, but I used to! I’m not saying I don’t anymore but I’m making some progress here! =D

So here are some ideas that will hopefully help some of you. I, personally, love every single item and will probably end up getting everyone of’em for myself ^^

• Clarisonic Mia Sonic Cleaning System

I’m sure you feel for this! I mean, who wouldn’t love to get their face pampered in only one minute and in the privacy of their own bathroom. I already mentioned it in one of my recent posts. A great gift for any girl or woman of any age. I don’t know if you can get it anywhere other than Sephora but you should! I looked though, not very passionately I have to admit, but didn’t find it. If you’re living in AD you would know that we don’t have Sephora here!! Boy, I would LOVE one!!!!! Anyways, There are a few Sephora shops in Dubai. I’m hoping I can update this post soon and say “yaay! we have Sephora in AD now!” Anyhow, enough with my 7annah n’ let’s move on.

• Tiffany Jewelry

Again, I can’t imagine any girl (I don’t have to mention women as well, you know what I mean, all ages) not falling in love with Tiffany’s. They’re simple, classy, and just lovely. Always sends the message, “hey, I care!”. Their collection(s) are huge and so good that you will be left overwhelmed at the beginning. To narrow down the choices you have to think of whom you’re gifting; their age, preferences, style, and of course how much you care for them which is the first thing I think of when I wanna get a gift for someone! Questions like what would she feel more comfortable wearing (necklaces, rings, earrings, or bracelets), what’s the occasion, .. etc.

Tiffany Keys are just gorgeous! For those who have no idea what those are, the link I’m sure will do enough. A key is worn on a necklace usually. This however would be a more proper gift coming from a guy to his girl (or woman) but, nevertheless, I  would so get my sister this coz I know she will just fall in love with it and wear it all the time. I don’t think a woman in her 40s however would wear this, like my mom for example =p, younger women I believe will be more charmed by them.

I am in love with the Tiffany Notes collection! I am in love with a lot of things =S No but seriously, this goes at the top of my list! Maybe after my new make-up obsession though! Lol, you get my point right? My favourite items of the whole collection are the “Dream a Little Dream” bangle, this bracelet,  and the “Let Me Count the Ways” necklace.

• Coastal Scents 88 Eye Shadow Palettes

This can make a great gift for someone who is into make-up or wanting to get into make-up. Believe me, they would really appreciate it! You can only get them online though, but they are REALLY cheap and good quality which makes them a great catch. There are two versions of them, the Ultra Simmer palette and the Warm palette.

• BookBook Mackbook Sleeve

This is cover or a sleeve to be more accurate for macbooks or macbook pros that looks like a beautiful vintage book. Amazing for a macbook user especially that they are handmade which makes every single piece unique. I don’t understand how anyone would not fall in love with this from first sight?!

I am gonna stop here, not because I’m out of ideas, but because I’m getting tired and it’s late. I hope you liked this post and if you want more ideas just leave a comment and I will post some more inshallah!

PS: I know I promised to post something about the stuff I ordered but I just did not feel like doing that after I got them! Sorryyyyyyy.