Crucial Update July 3, 2008

It’s been a really long time and I forgot how to start =P

 

Of course I’ve got no one to blame but myself and my laziness. I’m really surprised that there are people still visiting the blog. And I owe them an apology. Sorry for being so damn lazy, pardon my language =$

 

OK, I guess the right thing to do now is give you an update about myself (that sounded cocky – sorry, it’s just been a while and I feel like I’ve lost the blogging spirit!). Anyhow, I’m taking a summer course right now (Econ). It’s not all bad so far. Waking up in the morning is a real bummer but other than that its fine. This way I get to wake up in the morning, go out after class and do so many things I’ve always missed on doing during the summer because of staying up late and sleeping till noon. Of course I wake up tired coz I didn’t have enough sleep coz mom won’t let me sleep and miss noon prayer. Which reminds me, mom is totally overwhelmed with her new job and Marwa gets to sleep till 3 or even 4 pm. That is SOOO noT fair! << I sound like a kid, don’t I??

 

I’ve also joined a gym. This is the second week I guess. I like it. The trainer of course told me that I shouldn’t spend more than one hour in the gym, wouldn’t some people love to hear that? =P I haven’t used the pool yet but I’m hoping I’d start this weekend. Oh and about the weekend, my aunts and cousins are visiting from Qatar. I’m kinda sad that they’d have to come when I have a summer course coz this means I won’t be able to stay up with them. And that is what they do mainly, they sleep most of the day and stay up all night. But hey, it’s better than nothing. Having them here I mean.

 

Let’s see.. What else? Oh, I’ve got two papers that I’ve gotta write. One is for the Econ course and the other one is for a conference. The one for the conference is stressing me out a bit but I sat down yesterday and wrote an outline so it should be fine. What troubles me most of the time is the starting point, once that is settled everything just flows after that. The professors’ hopes are really high about it but I’m just hoping it turns out as good as everything else turned out to be.

 

Wait, did I talk about the weather? Coz I really wanna talk about the weather.

 

The weather is AWFUL. I’m not sure if it’s always been like that (my guess is that it has) because I used to sleep and not go out during the day every other summer I can remember. So I wouldn’t be able to give a fair comparison but I can give you a fair description of the weather now.

 

The weather is UNBEARABLE. I don’t wanna affect the economy or whatever but I honestly can’t see why tourists come here to tour!! I mean, obviously they’re attracted by the pretty malls, big hotels, clean beaches and many other facilities but to me it’s just NOT worth it. << Am I being ungrateful to my country here? No, I’m just being honest.

 

One more thing that makes me hate the weather is that I hate sweating. I think everyone does.

 

OK, I think I’ve said enough about the weather =P

 

Guess this is it. I’ll leave some for later on.

 

This was fun ^^.

Suspicious Destination April 26, 2008

Heyo

 

Can you believe it? Here I am again, in less than a week! \o/

 

I have something so interesting to share with you that couldn’t wait but I’ll leave it till the end

 

Good news>> I found those Arabic alphabet keyboard stickers I’ve been looking for forever. Just in case you needed them one day, you can find them in Jareer Bookstore, Al-Meena.

 

Bad news>> my car is staying with my mom for a couple of more days until she gets her car back. Oh and my bro totally missed it up – inside, out

 

Ok, I can’t think of anything else right now so here it is. A few days ago, I was looking at Google maps and found something really interesting – a Christian graveyard. The first thing I thought about once I saw it was, “I HAVE TO GO THERE.” So I memorized the map, told one of my friends (Heyam) about it (coz I definitely didn’t wanna go alone!). Next thing I know, we were on the road, heading to that supposed-to-be-in-my-head destination. And, yeah! We did loose our way. It was all my fault of course >.>

 

Anyways, I promised to bring the map with me next time. So on Thursday Heyam suggested to go and try again. Immediately, we printed the map and to the car. It turned out to be very close to pi. We can even see pi from that place. It was worst than I expected. I don’t feel like talking about the place itself but there’s one thing that I just cannot not mention. We found around 11 empty salt bags in there!!! Now what the hell? I need an explanation.

 

 

 

This was still wet when we got there.

 

 

This is a teddy bear by the way. I can make up a dozen stories about it!

 

This reminded me of the song which goes like this:

Gravedigger, when you you dig my grave

can you make it shallow?

so that I can feel the rain

 

One thing Heyam told me while walking back to the pi building about trust made me think. I never pause to decide whether to trust someone or not. It just happens. How does it happen? Well, I don’t know!

 

One last thing, thank you SOOOO much Heyam. You’re the best (Y)

 

PS: sorry about the missing frames. I was trying to edit the pics online but it didn’t work that will. I just hope they appear later on.

To-do April 19, 2008

I’ve honestly been trying to post something ever since I’ve written my last post but I just, believe it or not, can’t find the time to do so. I’m not saying that I don’t have any free time but I have to be in the mood to write and can’t just bring myself to write at any time. It needs mazaaaj =P (I know, lame excuse but it’s true!).

 

Hmm..

 

I’ve got lots of things to say that I dunno where to start. Let’s start with the things I should do today. I have a physics test tomorrow and I haven’t started studying yet. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it here (I know, my fault coz I haven’t been posting – shame on me >.< ) but physics 1 is just so much, and I mean SO MUCH work. It’s not as bad as it was in the beginning of the semester though or maybe I’m just getting used to it! Something else I’m getting used to is staying in PI till 5pm everyday. Never imagined I would but seems that I am. I still come back tired but it isn’t as bad as it was before. Another thing I have to do is my C++ homework. Last time I handed in my homework incomplete and knowing it was wrong but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get rid of it. After all, it only counts for 1% of my final grade >.>

 

I have to prepare handouts for the IEEE competition. I kinda regret getting into this coz I’m not really interested in the project we’re working on. Anyhow, I can’t get out of it now. I also have to start working on the STEPS design report which I know is a hell lot of work. I can see it giving me a headache until it’s due day, Tuesday. About headaches, I’ve been getting frequent headaches for a while now. I can mention 50, or more, reasons for these headaches but I’ll spare you the agony.

 

Weekends are just so SHORT.

 

More news about me:

 

I’m trying to eat better to gain some weight. So sick of people telling me that I lost weight. I’m also doing it coz my health is going down the hill. I’m much much weaker than I was before. A few weeks ago I fainted twice after closing the door on my fingers. I do that often by the way. Once it was worst and there was blood involved but I didn’t faint. So that was like a traffic sign that said, “STOP!! This is going too far.” And, el-7emdellah. I’m already feeling a difference. I come home still having some energy in my cells. Of course, it only stays until صلاة المغرب and then I’m all drowsy. I put on one of my smallest jeans yesterday (by the way, none of my jeans fit me anymore) and it actually fit me better. Not totally but we’re making a progress here.

 

I wanna write more but I’ll leave the rest for next time and I promise I’ll make that soon =$

Interesting! September 12, 2007

There are few things that grabbed my attention today during my classes. First one was during my Politics class, which I really like by the way. What I thought interesting is our discussion about how applying equality does not mean being fair. For example, if a teacher decided to give the whole class a B+ so that everyone will be equal, it won’t be fair. It won’t be fair because some students might work harder than the rest and deserve more than that grade or visa versa, some students may work less than the others and deserve a lower grade. What’s ironic is that people always, or let me say often because there are some people who like being different. They often long for equality. Thinking about it again, I think we all want to be different in one way or another. That’s why it’s natural for people to compete. I’m confusing myself here!! I can go on and on you know … but let me switch to the next thing

 

The second thing was a question Dr. Michael Ohadi, the executive director of the PI, asked in his lecture today. “Do you wanna be … oopps!! I totally forgot >_<

 

I know, sorry but it was something interesting!!

 

Okay, let’s move to the next thing. The same guy mentioned something about good friends and bad friends. I’ve been aware of this and grateful about it for a while now. I think I’m really lucky. I have a bunch of awesome friends that I wouldn’t trade for the whole wild world. I keep hearing people complaining about their bad experiences with their friends and each time I smile on the inside. I’m really lucky to have friends that I know care about me as much as I care about them. I’m really lucky to have friends that I can depend on. I’m really lucky to have friends that I can share with my good and bad times as well their good and bad times. I’m really lucky =)

New semester August 26, 2007

Summer vacation is over and we’re back to PI. Today was the first day of the new semester. It was great for a first day. A bit short but that can never be bad, huh?

It was nice to see everybody and to be back there. I kinda missed it. However, I’m not feeling so good right now. I just didn’t feel like coming back home and when I got home I was so distracted that I scratched my car while parking. My poor baby It is not that bad but it IS there! I knew though that it would happen sooner or later.

Another thing that is bothering me are my contact lenses. This is almost the third time I wear them and they are irritating. I have this feeling that my eyes are filled with tears when they are actually not! Other than that I’m liking them. I didn’t use to wear my glasses before using them so being able to SEE again feels good!

~

In general, I’m quiet satisfied and happy these days except for a hard decision that I have to make. I have to choose between two people I deeply care about. It is either one or the other, no other choice. Oh, wait! There is one; Lying. This really sucks. I truly believe that I am entitled to keep them both but the society we are living in and the mentality of the people is just too arrogant, not to understand (for some people understand it and even sympathize with it) but to accept it. I don’t entirely blame them because what drives them to reject it so violently is their strong emotions. But what am I to do? I really donno

It is like I’m in a war, not between my heart and mind but within my mind. If it was up to my heart, it would have been settled by now. I hate not knowing what’s gonna happen. I know one thing though, I have to do something and do something soon.

Untitled May 30, 2007

 

We were watching my brother’s graduation video today and while watching, all my school concerts rushed to my mind. I loved them. I loved practicing. I loved making the dresses. I loved performing in front of the proud parents. They make a great audience by the way. They would just cheer for anything, be it good or bad, just to encourage their kids. And that is just great. I loved it.

 

 

Yup, that was me, 13 years ago I suppose. Sorry for the bad quality. I just scanned and zoomed it. The gurl on my right was my best friend. Her name was Salwa. To Salwa: where ever you are, Thank you for being my friend She is the only one I remember from our class plus a boy named Salem. I’m sure though if I ever saw them, I won’t recognize them

 

I donno what made me write about this!!

 

Today, I had a yard test (for my driving license) but I missed it, thinking today was Tuesday. Waaayed en8ehart when I found out. Now I should book another appointment and god knows when will that be! My last final exam was on Sunday. Tomorrow our grades will be out but I know them all except the math grade. Got As in computer and communication and B in the science course (chemistry+physics) *jumps around*. I was so pleased when I saw the science mark coz I did terrible in the physics exam. I still think I failed it but managed to get a B after calculating the average.

 

Hmm, what else do I wanna say? I forgot =S loool

 

Later

Wasting Time May 17, 2007

 

Woke up today, not feeling like waking up. Tried to drag myself outta bed for about 45 minutes but no use. At 7:15, I gave it up and tried to go back to sleep. Not sure if I succeeded. I don’t really remember!!
Anyways, instead of going to my classes I thought I’d stay at home and start studying for my finals. But whom am I kidding! That was never the case with me. Never ever. Why will things change now?! Not that I don’t wanna study. I sincerely do but I just can’t. And there is nothing i can do about it.
I had breakfast in front of the TV at 10, something that I really miss. Then headed upstairs to my room. Said I’ll check my email and the regular feeds then start on with my studying. Deep in side of me, I just knew that will NOT happen. Here I am at 1:45pm > haven’t touched a book.

 

You know what, enough about studying. It’s making me feel sick. Let me just take you through what I’ve came across since 10am.

 

 

• I bookmarked a lot of blogs which means I’ll have something to read in the 1st couple of weeks of the summer vacation. Oh , about reading. How I miss my books! Dunno how I managed to keep my hands off of’em so far. Let’s just hope this doesn’t change before the finals are over.

 

 

• New decision. I made up my mind that I should forget about the “leaving PI” issue for the mean time. After the exams I’ll give my full attention to it. As a result, I may put it into action or not. According to what Nada vs. Nada negotiation ends up with. And that is it. I will not let anyone affect my decision. I’ve had enough of people’s opinions. It is about time I pay attention to my own opinion. I need a clear idea of what that really is (my opinion).

 

 

• Something to work on. While eating breakfast, I was thinking of how much I needed to talk to someone right at that moment. Tried to call and sms some people but no reply. Didn’t blame them. It was 10:30 am and everyone is busy. Can’t possibly expect everyone to be free whenever I need a chat. I always hated needing someone but it’s just the way we are and I can’t help it. I hope that I can pull this out. I’ll try to convince myself that I don’t need anyone to make me feel better. I’ll try believing that I can do just fine on my own. I’ll try as much as possible to be emotionally independent.

 

• Something to laugh at.

 

 

I don’t think this needs a comment. *Lol* I just dunno what made her ask that question. I love that gurl. She brings the hell out of me sometimes but I still love her. She does whatever she does and then comes back the next day with the most innocent face, like nothing ever happened. [Memory flood] God, I miss those days *sigh*

 

Hmm ..

 

I’m sure there is still more to say but my tummy is craving for food. Maybe I’ll update later on today

 

Amazing how you find a hell lot to do or to say when you should be studying!

 

Bye for now

Trouble-minded May 15, 2007

Been trying to get myself into posting something ever since I came back from Qatar. I had and still have a lot to say but i just can’t get them out. I’ll just write whatever pops into my head right now.

 

Hmmmmmmm …

 

There are a lot of things that are troubling me lately. Final exams are one of these things. They’re gonna start next week but I’ve gotta admit they’re not my biggest concerns.

 

Ok, I don’t feel like saying more.

 

You’re my secret place,
where I can be myself.
You connect with me,
like nobody else.
Even though our circumstances changed,
our love still remains.
Keep me on the ground,
still you help me fly,
You taught me to be patient,
I taught you to rely,
so no matter what tomorrow brings,
we got the simple things.

 

I really need that person.

I think our counslors need counseling! April 23, 2007

Seriously, out of the entire staff you’d expect them to be, if not supportive, understanding. I went today to one of the counselors asking her to give me some papers and she just treated me in the most disgusting way. OK so what if I didn’t meet the deadline. She has no right treating me like that. They say it’s her way. Well, that’s no excuse. I’m not gnna let anyone treat me in such a way. She has absolutely no right to. The girls ask me, “what are you gnna do about it?” All I know right now is that I’m not gnna shut up and swallow it like them. I’m gnna speak to whom ever I need to speak to and do whatever I need to do to put an end to this. Y3ny lain meta people will shut up just because they think nothing will ever change?!! Well, of course nothing is gnna change because you’re doing nothing about it.

 

I know, reader, this might seem silly to you but this is not the first time. She even went as far as calling me a Loser!! And guess what, she did that behind my back. If only she had the guts to say that in my face I would have dealt with it in that place and at that moment. The only thing that’s holding me back is that I don’t wanna go down to her level. My parents never taught me to talk to people disrespectfully, no matter what their status was. FOR CRY OUT LOUD, SHE’S THE COUNSELOR!!! I mean she gets paid for this. 3ala goolat-hom el-mafroo’9 t7allel rateb-ha. But as I said, I’m not gnna let her get away with it so easily. She should have thought twice before ever thinking of disrespecting me. I know I sound cocky but I believe it’s every person’s right to be treated with respect and I’m not gnna let go of mine. Or at least not with out a fight, I won’t.

 

Peace =P

Back to PI =( April 16, 2007

Hmmmm ..
I donno what to write ..
I have a lot on my mind ..
A lot to do ..
But I still manage to waste time .. lol ..
People wonder how do I get all my work done ..
Well, it’s magiC =P
Here is my to-do list for the day ..
Of course not all of these are due tomorrow ..
Kent bat5abbal !!

 

– My neck hurts >_<